Do unto your kid?

This might a bit of venting, so this is your fair warning, However - I do think it is something everyone should think about.

Since John and I have been together (5 1/2 yrs counting dating) we have openly discussed everything - money, politics, beliefs, love, hate, sex, etc.  As a result of these very open, very honest, and judgement free conversations, we have learned to trust each other to handle more mature situations, and have grown to rely on each other for things that we otherwise would not have been able to do.

One of those things is our finances.  In the beginning, one of us never spent anything, and the other lived on credit cards. At various times, one has been the "bread winner" while the other was paid less.  Now, over the course of time, we have made what we feel are monumental leaps in this area.

I'll spare you all the number details, but we often are asked if we're on the Dave Ramsey Plan.  And our answer is always odd:  We were on the Dave Ramsey plan before it was Dave Ramsey - it was called the "Scott Shackleton Pay off Sh*t Plan."  Which is essentially the same plan as Dave, with a few modifications.

If you're unfamiliar with this plan, I highly encourage you to check it out.  However, my point here today is not to glorify us and our spending frugal ways, or Scott (although we love you dearly), or Dave Ramsey (sorry Dave).

Instead, I'd like you to consider something I came across while perusing the Dave Ramsey site today. It comes via this forum in which the mother of a 16 year old High School Student recounts her son's work habits, income, and her choice to keep half of his paycheck.

I could debate with you that while I think this mother has great intentions, she is doing her son harm.  And some could say that since he's earning all this money, he should get to spend it.  And then some would say he needs to pay the family since he's living under their roof.   All of which, I could understand (although I may not agree with them all).

But here's what I thought:

All these people are on here, because they've had problems in the past with being in debt - yet all I read, post after post, was "Well, when I was a kid ....."

What the Hell people? 

Obviously whatever happened when you were a kid didn't teach you good money management skills!  So why are you suggesting, and even placing guilt on this woman into doing the same thing to her child? 

Why do we do this?  Why do we think the best way was the way we were raised, and often shoot down any and all other options as below us?  Can we not look at our own past and learn from it, are we really that ignorant?

Didn't Einstein say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?  

Then why do we force our actions on our children.   Do you really want them to pay the same price you did for those same mistakes?


Isn't it time we started teaching our children the things we wished we had learned, and stop pushing our mistakes off onto them.